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Now with that out of the way I can't express this to you, so I'll express it here. I doubt you even read these, but I'll trust this has some purpose I left you because I couldn't take the pain anymore.
I loved you more than I've ever WestVirginka anyone else. We had reached this deep connection between us that exposed some of our deepest wounds. I wasn't sure how you felt.
I really wanted to make things work as I knew they could. Looking back, I doubt I was ready to either.
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Belv And perhaps you just didn't want to anymore. I didn't know, I couldn't tell I just could not take the pain anymore as I really did love you so much, but everything was falling apart.
I had to keep putting on the mask that everything was okay, but all I wanted was to really make everything okay.
I and I had to retreat. I slipped into an emotional recovery and, though it seemed you wanted me to come back out, I WwstVirginia.
I foolishly pushed my heart too far and it wasn't yet ready. And when I did come back out, you weren't there.
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I don't know what to do from here. I went with the assumption that if things are over, they're meant to be and I should on with my life, and while a part of me has carried on and grown.
That part of me is still waiting for you. It has tried to re-experience life, it has tried revisiting its place of recovery in case it is simply falling into delusion, yet still it returns, waiting here for you.
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It's grown tired of exploring, knowing that something still waits at this place. Even I doubt it sometimes, for surely if you haven't come back eseking now, you aren't going to.
There isn't much else I've felt so sure of in this life. But now, I don't know what I can do. My fear is that I was too late. I know I can't tell you these things.
I know you can't even respond. But I wish you could know.
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I wish you could know that I still love you, and what that truly means My hope is that we both find, seeing, and believe in the best course for our lives, whatever that may bring. My hope is that we both find and live in.
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