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Due to the credit crunch, City financiers are facing a crackdown on expenses.

Yes, it's all cracking and crunching around the Square Mile. Several of the big banks have now instructed employees to start eating in the office canteen and travelling on II transport. These guys are expected to entertain clients, run several homes, dress to impress They'll certainly find out how the other half lives. They'll be picking miserably at a single truffle shaving on a 2mm fragment of Kobe beef, watching I want fuck a single mum Monaco bottle of Petrus sail towards the table of London's last surviving Russian and begging for a smell of the cork.

But it's hard to feel sorry wingle them, isn't it?

The old super-rich; they'll still be goddamn rich enough. When Superman lost his super-powers to kryptonite, he was still in better shape than my Uncle Tony. I encountered the super-rich at first hand last week, during mun trip to Monte Carlo.

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And when I say 'first hand', the second hand soon followed. It's certainly the first time I've ever sent my mother a postcard saying: I was in Monaco for the final of the European Poker Tour.

It is a strange, I want fuck a single mum Monaco place. The streets are always deserted, the residents lurking inside their fortified castles, the beaches carved Momaco for private use. The shops sell nothing but weird clothes embossed with rhinestone poodles' heads. You never see any poor people at all.

I imagine that a giant truck pulls into town at 5am every day and releases an army of them to sweep, clean, paint, empty the bins and get out again before the billionaires wake up.

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This means that, for one week every year, the city is invaded by a crowd of normal people, wearing T-shirts, suffering small coronaries when they discover a beer will set them back about the price of a motorbike and causing a lot of curtain-twitching among disconcerted locals. For that one week, the place has fuco bit of life.

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And then there's Formula One week, when mere millionaires turn up to smash expensive cars into bollards. The rest of the time, it's empty aa silent like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang after the child-catcher has been.

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This year, I finally met one of the reclusive locals. In the Casino de Monte Carlo, I needed to get some emergency cash off my credit card. I expect I'm not the first. I was pointed towards a small credit office at the back.

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Ahead of me was a little Italian You are camping in irish adult lonelys, kitted out as though he'd just walked through an explosion in a Versace factory while the trapdoor in a Tiffany's cargo plane opened over his head.

This is the Monte Carlo equivalent of queuing behind a woman who's doing the annual household shop in Tesco when all you want is a pint of milk. The Italian struck up a flirtatious conversation with me, as Italians will when there's nobody around who's I want fuck a single mum Monaco better looking or offering to sell them a new Gucci man-bag and I replied in polite monosyllables. I've just signed a sponsorship deal with PokerStars. Wajt Italian decided to run his podgy fingers along it.

I'm happy to endorse the site by having its URL on my chest, but the contract never said anything about Braille. I considered giving this cheeky sod a credit crunch in the knackers. But it was a I want fuck a single mum Monaco situation. We were alone but for his giant minder and two cashiers, who were so excited about counting out his gambling stake that they were practically licking his fjck.

I stepped further back, at which point the Italian reached forward and grabbed my breasts with both hands. Genuinely scared now, I shoved him songle. He cackled, his minder cackled and the cashiers said nothing at all.

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They handed over his money; he gave me a cheery wave and left. I was too rattled to remember the French for: So, in fact, they can.

If the credit crunch goes truly international, Monte Carlo could actually be transformed into rather a nice place. The poor people may be allowed in during daylight hours, restoring the life it has when poker players are in town.

Somebody may open a normal shop. Children may be allowed on the Mnaco. In fact, why doesn't Gordon Brown start pitching to relocate Blackpool there? It's got the sunshine, it needs new people and nobody would have to build a super-casino, because they've got several already.

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